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Thanks, Alexis. This helping me get through the day.

Alexis, I can’t give myself grace for how I handled everything, I begged for a month, then went no contact, they moved out but came into contact a week afterwards to test the waters and it was fun. We were sharing physical and emotional moments for 2 weeks, but I wasn’t a changed man nor did I want the same dynamic, so I set boundaries essentially walking away. It’s been 3 weeks starting NC again and I’m still just crushed. I feel like I made a mistake walking away. Some days I know it was for my mental health but some days I yearn for them

This is one-sided, focused on the pov of selfish avoidant and not on the great HURT they cause others. Avoidants should date each other bc they cause great harm to others.

6 Signs of Love Addiction (AKA Limerence!) 1. obsessively thinking about them 2. insecurity and/or shyness in their presence 3. putting them on a pedestal 4. emotional dependency 5. longing for reciprocation 6. fantasizing about reciprocation

As a new student under your guidance I just wanted to thank you again. My ex is now visiting everyday making excuses to come over. I have let her do the initiating and our whole relationship has changed, it's like we're dating I'm falling even more in love all over again. if you're considering guidance Alexis is definitely a true professional and as a former and current probably always an avoidant can see both sides of the fence. He give you true advice. My avoiding Ex that dumped me 3 weeks ago after suggesting marriage and broke my heart is now the one leading the charge It's like we're dating all over again and falling more in love. Dating and loving and avoidant is almost like learning to play concert violin. I realized it will never be easy but anything worthwhile never is. I will look forward to our next chat and guidance on how to continue playing the love of my life Stradivarius. Building her confidence and making her feel safe for the first time in your life without looking like a lost puppy which I am definitely not. Thanks again

Your content is always full of heart and insight. I feel this one is about hard truths to face. Thank you. Good information delivered with intellect and heart.

He started checking my profile vigorously after 1 month of no contact but Ive made a mistake posting Anthony Bourdain quote that he got wrong and got him back into thinking and reconsidering, checking his rebound now too. Back to the basics now and i will have to wait again 🙄

Je suis fiancee avec un homme évitant et nous avons fait lacte de marriage aussi ya 9 mois, malheureusement dernizrement on allait se divorcer car je pouvais pas resister son silence et les disputes a chaque fois je demande l'amour il me dit je ne vais pas bien je ne peux rien donner je veux juste regler mes affaires pour qu'on puisse se reunir dans la meme maison. Quant a moi je ne sais pas quoi faire , je pleure tout le temps jai meme des crises de paniques jarrive pas a surmonter cette phase, jai peur qu'il soit menteur et en meme temps il demande des excuses en me disant je reviendrais comme avant .. je vais juste regler mes problemes et je vais jamais te laisser. Jai peur de cette relation sincèrement

i thought 6 months to a year was long enough?

So what if we live together, can’t break the lease, or afford another place for the next 5 months?

If i had this knowledge earlier...

shs not postingon social media because she doesnt want me knowing anything shes doing..

He told me she is like me but nothing on me. But he has chosen to pursue this relationship than commit to me and what we had.

Hi Alexis, one person commented what if family meet family of rebound or meet the rebound? Or families know eachother? What are your thoughts on that....

Alexis you are the best! Yet again you give amazing advice. Thank you 🙏

Love this Alexis. You always promote personal growth. I I always feel recalibrated and empowered after your videos ❤💪🏻

So everyone is goin to ignore the fact avoidants isn’t a normal human being? “You should not talk to them, not look at them, not love them, and if you do, do it far away”.

Mhmm, this was my first thought with my ex. She was turning 40 and is going through a severe crisis. Everything needed to change and especially me needed to go.

Both my ex husband and ex partner left me when THEY were aged 40. Go figure.

I ended the 16 years long relationship to the father of my children due to my „Midlifecrisis“…it wasn’t a bad relationship, but we slowly lost our connection and then I felt a big pressure to change my whole life…changed my job, changed hobbies, went travelling alone and the relationship was „Holding me back“…it’s okay the way it is now and I love my life, but maybe we could have saved it if we were both more aware.

Good timing. I feel like I'm having a mid life crisis ever since my ex broke up with me last November and last fall she was starting to have symptoms of peri menopause we're both in our late 40s!

Merci for your advice! You are helping me to get understanding of my recent break up

I told my DA boyfriend I had to move, and to my delight he offered that I move in with him. But now that I've given my notice to my landlord, my DA isn't talking to me. It's so annoying and I'm worried about living with him.

I think for me, I haven't left because of physical attraction and dreaming of the first two months which were amazing and thinking it could be like that again.

I think it happens to both. Also, if a spouse attracted each other because both have wound, husband/wife is going to a crisis frist then later it drags to the others crisis.

The 3rd point is a good one, in most relationships

I fell in love with my new next door neighbor. She came from a horrible sexually abused childhood, but I was smitten with this Asian beauty. I was too happy to see the warning signs, but I am not a needy guy. So I told her she never let's down her guard. as a result, i dont feel like i know you, even after 15 months. Then a year and a half into this magical relationship, she just went cold. Without any warning, she let a day laborer move in and was having sex with him day one. 2 months later, I am still dumbfounded. It's shocking how fast I was out and he was in, and I've been ghosted from day one. Zero sight or word from her 5 weeks in. Soooo frustrating.this experience has been by far the most difficult relationship I have ever been a part of. One day all was good, the next day I'm ghosted and he's having sex with her. Ouch

How about when they friendzone you?

Hey man! If it’s an avoidant ex and I’ve been doing no contact for about a month now, do you think i should break no contact at some point? And if so, when do you think it’s best? Thanks

The problem is, i battle with guilt, i can't forgive myself, i know i neglected her and her needs. Things got worse last year after i lost my job and got a lil depressiv. She lost attraction towards me, i know it. Wasn't the man that i was before, too dependent on her. One side of me is cursing her because she left me when i needed her the most and the other side is cursing myself because i wasn't strong enough to do what was necessary and fix my issues, so i can't blame her... Well, 2 weeks later she met a guy(or she met him before) and is now in a rebound. 7 years relationship...

The idea of healing after 3 months doesn't look like realistic at all. It takes a solid year to move on in a healthy way after a long and meaningful relationship. Some people stay stuck for years.

Disloyalty & Abandonment. I'm AP

Wonderful topic video. It's exactly what I'm going through, right now. Thank you

Yes, it definitely happens to women. We're all mortals.

Well, I got nine of them. I question if she was genuine, honestly. There were so many mixed signals and hot and cold treatment from her. She would text me the entire day but never want to meet up. She would get jealous if she sensed that I found somebody else and was talking to another woman. But I discovered I later discovered she made a Facebook page what a fake name and everything was private and it was specifically to hide from me and hide everything from her personal life from me. I may never know how she really felt, but I just can't deal with that kind of shady behavior with her doing those things behind my back and getting mad when I busted her. I felt just completely moving on was for the best. I gave her a final chance to make things right and she refused, so I let her go for good.

My ex misses got a new man, nose pierced and began vaping and she coming up to 40 is that classed as a midlife crisis ? 🤣

I’m starting to believe that what my avoidant ex loves the most is the power force of our “ our reconnecting moments” after every breakup.m, coz is powerful the force of our love. Looks like a twin flame dynamic Is the third time he comes back, every time he’s changes a 5%, improve himself a little more, give me some hope and the break with me again… Now, I’m thinking of a strategy to break the circle. The time of separation is a great opportunity to grow and expand, take responsibility for my personal and spiritual growth. Recently I discovered EFT to release the rejection wound…. So, if he comes back again ( he promised he won’t) what should I do concretely to make this worth ? Because I cannot promise that I will never trigger him again… Let’s wait for the next chapter! 🎉

How would this apply to a avoidant spouse you are separated from who has all the signs of the midlife crisis.

my ex was exactly this way. I never met anyone this way. I was so confused about things but loved her like nobody else.

Thank you for this video. I have to think about it. Do I want a push/pull for the rest if my life or do i have to find a woman that is as I am. It is all so heartbreaking....

alex put a few sound panels up on the walls around your desk there and your microphone will sound way better. all the reflections are making it sound hollow.

How can I get help with getting advice whether to write letter and whether what I wrote it well?

What if you were their first relationship and it was incredibly special? Life changing for both of us and I’d had dozens of relationships. All my friends say he’ll never find someone like me or what we had again but he just hasn’t found that out yet

I've been more than patient, but honestly, I am beyond over it! It's my time to go after someone who is not only ready, but able, to reciprocate and communicate equally. Let's be honest, the odds of them ever seeing the light; is slim to none & I'm not a gambler. Life's too short and the way they are yo-yo in relationships; is selfish and not fair to the other person. They need to get with another avoidant and ignore each other. JS

Do you have a video about writing a letter to an ex gf after getting left for being needy, jealous, insecure and when to right it during No Contact and what to write ?

OMG... U can watch your clips over and over just drowning in your beautiful eyes, listening to your voice❤ Quelle joie ce serait d'entendre tes mots en français Bisous de la Suède ❤

I once had a neighbor who was cutting down a healthy 11 year old tree, because the leaves fell on to his new truck. I was horrified, and went over to the tree with my wooden walking stick and asked the tree spirits to jump into it (kodama) and I took the tree spirits over to my tree, where it now lives. I now have a tree I visit at the pond, and he says his name is Daryl. I go and touch him, talk to him, hug him, and sometimes kiss him. The tree in front of my home says her name is Cassandra. I had an acquaintance who on plant medicine, could have hours of conversation with the trees. She said that they know the entire history of the earth. I believe it, because all trees can communicate with all trees, because of the mycelium underneath them in the dirt, which are the transmission highways. There is a book on this. *It is truly a most bizarre characteristic of humans, that we smile when we are in pain.* REMEMBER: The hardest person to break up with is the one you've created in your own delusional, fantasy-making mind... 1. Know your value!!! (Do NOT doubt yourself.) 2. Take yourself and your worth seriously. You need to BE A QUEEN to be treated like one. 3. Don’t give easy access to anyone, at any time. Access to your energy MUST be expensive. 4. Do NOT only express your boundaries. YOU MUST show them. 5. Always be ready to walk away. 6. Show that you are focused on actions not on words. 7. Have a healthy degree of skepticism. 8. You must be willing to say NO and you must be willing to lose the man, if needed. 9. Never EVER chase a man! A truly worthy woman, (who knows her worth) does not EVER chase a man. Giving the same energy that you're getting is key and if you don't like that energy then move on! NOW! It can be hard but that's when you need to choose yourself over the damn illusion/fantasy. A man who loves a woman will not ignore her, ever, period. So... If he ignores me I will step back and he will lose me. Simple. Simple. Non-dramatic and uncomplicated. I don’t, under any circumstance: play these childish-abusive-controlling mind games. I will only be with a man who values and appreciates me, and treats me as the Queen, I AM. (Daughter of the Most Hight; King of kings!) Because I am a beautiful and kind and divine and sexy and wise and intelligent and magical woman: who knows my worth. Period. Also, We create each moment. This moment contains, through my focus, both positive and negative... Both painful and wonderful. I can put my attention on what I lack, what I don't have, what traumas I do have etc... And, I can put my attention on the calm moment that I am in, NOW, the food I just ate, and the fact that my body is satisfied, the shelter I do have... (You get my idea!) Both are here... And now. For the sake of fairness, I will allow myself to cry my pains, in the moment if/when they come/arise, AND also acknowledge the beauty I still have in my life NOW. Pain? Yes. Suffering? Indeed. And, also: wonderous magical divine beauty. Blessings to you!

He won't come back this time. I caught him in a lie with his ex GF.

Off topic but I'm wondering why french have an accent